Tammi's World

Outta Ideas

I'm goin' to the grocery store tonite.

I cannot remember the last time I went to the grocery store to stock up, to buy more than what I needed for the next meal.  Hell, I can barely remember the last time I fixed a meal in this house.

So I'm thinkin' tomorrow will be the perfect opportunity to fix something healthy, yummy and enough to last a day or two.  Leftovers CAN be your friend, you know.

But I got nothin'. Not one single idea of what I want to fix.  I made that huge pot of ham, potatoes and green beans last week for Mother's Day. So, I'm ok on that craving.

What do YOU think I should fix? Any ideas?  I got nothin'. Seriously.  I want it to be easy, no beef wellington, thankyouverymuch.  Maybe stew? Or a nice roast and potatoes? I don't know. I think I want something a bit different.

Help me out here.  I'm not leaving for a bit yet, so any ideas you can throw my way would be more than helpful.  Hell.......it's possible you might help me with menus for the next few WEEKS!!!

So tell me....what are YOU hungry for?

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Today my beloved nephew is 1 years old! Wow.  A whole year. 

Patrick was a little impatient to join us, kinda gets that from his Mama, and arrived a bit earlier than expected.  And he hit the ground running, let me tell you.  Adorable, smart, handsome.....this tiger is the COMPLETE package.  His mama and daddy are doin' a great job - and no. There's no bias on my part at all in that statement.

There's a big family get together this afternoon and I'd give just about anything to be there. To watch him open his gifts, play with his cake, just be too cute for words. But, can't do it, so instead I'll hang out by the phone waiting for updates.

Happy Birthday Patrick! Your Aunt Tammi is VERY proud of you.  Oh, and Mama? Y'all are doin' a great job!!!  I'm pretty damned proud of you, too!

(click for an even better view of my favorite picture of this little cutie!)

I can't stop......

I lied.

When I said I was stepping away from the computer, the search, the posting.....I lied. Oh, I tried, but didn't do so well.  However, I did find a GREAT opportunity just 30 minutes from Paradise.  Working for a Beverage company in.....get this.....their COFFEE division.  How great is THAT?!?!  AND it's managing retail execution (my specialty) as well as planning events.  Seriously folks.  It's got my name all over it. AND I wouldn't have to move. At all. Ever.

Now, the chances of getting them to notice my resume are slim to none. There are hundreds of folks posting for those types of things, but I'm hoping since the only place I found it was on their corporate website and given the fact that I'm local, available and qualified they'll at least call me in for an interview.

A girl has to have her dreams, you know.

The company has been around for a long time, they make money (always important) and they aren't dependent on the economy. 

Makes me kinda glad I have no self discipline, cause if I did I'd have never found this opportunity.

Lack of discipline a good thing? Huh....this could work for me.  I've been working at that my WHOLE life.

Break Time!

That's it! I'm done for the day.....

No more job searches today. No more posting.  I'm done. I'll check emails but other than that I'm taking the rest of the day "off".

I'm goin' to get something to eat (I'm starving) then I HOPE to get some stuff done around the house.  I'm not going to fret and worry anymore today - plenty of time for that next week.  I can't really get anything going with recruiters today, as it's Friday and the hours most recruiters *I* know work makes bankers hours look like a sweatshop.  Nope. Not gonna bang my head against THAT wall anymore today.

I want breakfast.  And a little sunshine on my face, while it's still shinning. 

So, y'all enjoy your Friday.  I'm going to try and salvage mine......

Only Me

I swear to pete....this would only happen to me.

I heard from my friend about the Cali job.  But I didn't hear what I thought we would.  Seems he's concerned that the process is taking this long and he doesn't want the company to lose me. Sweet but not exactly the conversation I wanted to have.

But....in that vein he's contacted a lot of folks inside the company about me.  So, I had a phone interview with one of the Sr. Executives today about working for him here in Chicago.  I'd probably still need to move closer to the city, and they wouldn't pay for that (ouch) but it would be a good job back with a company I love. So it's an option.

There's another guy I'm supposed to call on Monday about an analyst position - big smile - that would also keep me here. 

I'm still a front runner in the Cali job, but he knows me.  He knows I will NOT sit and wait.  And, as he put it, I need to come home.

So - there's where things stand. Still waiting. Still no news.  But, a little light at the end of the tunnel. A little movement on the job front.  But still no answers.

It's almost funny.......

Moment of truth

I just got an email about the Cali job.  Seems my friend lost all but my old cell phone number and has been trying to reach me.  They sent the email asking me to call him ASAP with how to reach me.

I did.  In fact the phone is still smoking with how fast I dialed that SOB.

Not sure what they have to say, but at this point ANYthing is better than hangin' in the dark......

Time to pray (again) (some more).

I'll update this as soon as I hear from him.  Good, bad, indifferent we're in this together!

UPDATED FRIDAY 6:30am: Well...still waiting.  I roamed this house until 10:00 last night, just staring at the phone.  I'm givin' him until noon (my time) today and then I'm calling again........

Honesty Hurts Sometimes

I just got off of a really difficult phone call.  Seems I hurt someone's feelings and had no idea.

See...they were trying to help me.  They are in a position to pass along my resume.  So they did. And they really worked hard to get me noticed. The boss called me the day before yesterday.

The company is business to business sales.  Folks? I'm really bad at business to business (or B2B) sales.  In that industry it's all about opening new accounts.  You have the opener and then the managers. I've already discussed how I am NOT an opener.  I NEED the relationships.  That is what I thrive on. I've tried B2B and I've failed.  Because I hate it.

A career in sales is like choosing to be a teacher.  You choose a specialty, something you love, to teach.  Let's say History.  So when you are looking for a job, you look for a job teaching History. Oh, you're qualified to teach just about anything, you have the certification to prove it. But....you love history. You've STUDIED history. So, if you're smart you focus on that. For as long as you can. Because no one in their right mind wants to keep looking for jobs. You don't take something KNOWING you'll leave as soon as you find something else.  That's wrong for EVERYONE involved. You....because you'll  be miserable. The company because the cost of training and setting up a new employee is VERY high.

I'm hoping she understood.  I really do. I'm touched that she has that much faith in my to put her reputation on the line like that.  I explained to her boss, and he seemed to understand.  I'm honored that they even considered my resume, because I'll tell you - there is nothing in that document that tells ANYONE I could do B2B.  I don't even mention that experience anywhere on there.

Damn....I hate when this happens.  I really do.  She was trying to help, and I appreciate it. More than I can say. But.....it would be worse if I took it and failed/left than it is to be honest up front.

Making It Convenient

I read this post over at Crystal's and man....can I relate.

I love to work out. Really I do.  I love the feeling in my body afterward, that pain that isn't really pain. That feeling that tells me I did something good.  I didn't do it for weight management I did it because I loved that feeling of strength.

Even during my marriage, when I, at 6'2" weighed a whomping 130lbs, I worked out.  Aerobics was the choice. Mainly because my ex wouldn't allow me to go to a gym anymore and his SIL ran the classes.  After we moved out to the farm it was just to far to go for those.  So I kinda let myself slide.

Oh, I was active enough.  But not focused. And after the surgery I did start to pack on some pounds. I had "dimples" where they never existed before.  At 25! That was just wrong.  So.....I decided it was time to do something.

I joined Weight Watchers.  Now, by that time I was heavy (er) but not out of control.  What I needed - and did - was cut out sugar pop.  That dropped a lot of the weight. But after a few years of no real exercise I was, for the first time in my life, out of shape.

Yeah, that wasn't going to work for me.

So I started shopping.  Unfortunately the only place I was allowed to shop was the TV. And I found, what I thought anyway, was THE answer. I can't remember what it was called and but it looked like a bike without pedals and you pulled on the armie thingies.  It was worthless, but I didn't know that at the time.

The box arrived and I was so excited.  I set it up right behind the sectional so I wouldn't get in trouble for interrupting "family time" and I could still do what I needed to do.  Work out.

After about 2 weeks the glow wore off.  It was boring. I couldn't tell a difference.  But common sense told me to keep at it. The weight didn't come on over night, I didn't fall apart in a week, this was gonna take time.

But I was bored.  DAMN IT.

Then one morning the solution came without me even trying.  I had been doing the laundry the night before and had set up the ironing board. Right next to the "machine".  That particular morning I was running a little late, hadn't had my coffee.  Hey! Why not do both at the same time. Coffee isn't BAD for me, right?

Long story somewhat shorter......the set up changed from that day on.  Oh, you'd find me working out on my little machine.  But right next to me was the ironing board. With either a cup of coffee or Diet Coke and.......my ashtray. Yes, I figured out how to drink, smoke and work out all at the same time.  I figured I was just flat out brilliant.

Kinda reminds me of my foray into Pilates.......

Just Curious

I love cereal. Really. Is there ANYTHING better for a snack?

Now, normally, lately, I've been very good about buying "good for me" cereal.  My usual is Total Raisin Bran.  But this week? This week I threw caution to the wind and picked up a box of Lucky Charms.  Hmmmm marshmallows.....

It's become my snack of choice.  Well, mostly because it's the only snack like food I have in the house, but besides that? Yeah..I've been craving it.

But last night it backfired on me.  I had a little bowl around 9:00 just because I needed something. When I was done?  Too sweet. Way too sweet.  Gotta tell you. Kind of surprised myself on that one.  I think, now that I've walked on the wild side, I'll go back to my old standby.

But let me ask you? What's your favorite cereal? Are you a Cocoa Puffs kinda person? Or maybe grape-nuts? (which I also love)  Another all time favorite of mine is Capt'n Crunch. But I've had to ban that from my house cause I won't stop eating it.

But back to you.....what do you like? And are you just a cereal in the morning kind of person or can you do it ANY time?

Where in the world......?

"So Tammi. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?"  If I had a dime for every time that question has been asked these past three weeks I wouldn't even NEED unemployment this year.  Seriously.

And the weird thing is.....I have no answer. None.  I'm only lookin' at the Cali job because of the company and who I would be working for.  If it weren't for those two factors I'm not sure where I'd stand on it.  But if, just if, that is out of the running, everything else is wide open.

And that's a little overwhelming.  Anywhere. I could potentially end up anywhere. Because, to be honest, this time around it's not about location. It's all about the opportunity. Trying to get myself into the next stage of my life.

I know what I want to do. THAT is the easy part.  But where I'll end up? That's kind of important too, don't ya think?!

So I'm focusing here in the Chicagoland area and Tampa/Southwest Florida.  BUT...as I've told all the recruiters I've spoken to, if the position is a great opportunity, if the job is all that and a bag of chips, then I'll go where I have to.

Sounds easy, but this is the first time I've gone about it this way. I've always known the general area of where I want to be.  Then I looked for a job that way.  This time, I find myself browsing for hours. Reading, looking, trying to focus on my future and not anything else.

Cuz and Carmen and probably LeeAnn wouldn't mind too much if I ended up down there again, but other than that? I have no reason to be anywhere.  That's just feaky to me.  To some people that would be a dream come true. Talk about footloose and fancy free.  But can I tell you a secret? I would give anything for someone to want me. To want me THERE. HERE. ANYWHERE. To be accountable, to be needed. Does that make sense?

It's probably all just a case of the grass being greener and such. But that's kind of where this all takes me.  You know. In the middle of the night. When you can't sleep one more minute. When the sound of traffic is gone and the world is just waiting.

Anyway - I'm half thinking I'll just get the damned map out and start throwing darts.  Because right now it's a little overwhelming......